This page is a small betrayal. Elias – whom we all knew by his nickname, Armed – might not have wanted this: he might not have wanted to see his picture, his name. Because Elias was an extremely private person. But in his secrecy (which on the web is a valuable asset and a necessary consideration), he was also able to offer enormous confidence and trust to the people he came into contact with.
Forgive us Elias. But we need this now. To talk to you again, to remember. To see your face, which you never showed before.
The messages you see here below, which are ideally addressed to your family, to which our small community of gamers from all over the world clings, stand testimony to one thing above all: your integrity, your having one and only one face. Your being yourself, always, without masks, and your ability to give support, despite what you were going through, to others, whatever their problem, whatever the issue. You knew how to help, your words – measured, carefully chosen, slowly spoken – had weight and effect.
You knew how to enter every subject with grace and competence. You rarely got angry, and even when you did – usually in the face of some injustice – you contained your anger. And you always knew how to withdraw in silence.
I, who write here now but am only a spokesman for this group of friends, had nicknamed you ‘boy wonder’, because your presence was really a wonder. You had not liked it. Only when, some time later, I explained to you that it was the name that had been given to Irving Thalberg, who at the age of 20 became the first producer of Universal Pictures, did you begin to tolerate it a little. At least it wasn’t a superhero nickname. Because you didn’t want compliments, you always wanted to belittle yourself and say that no, you weren’t exceptional, it wasn’t exceptional the way you accepted your illness or the very possibility of dying young. Your humour was not exceptional, even in the face of the enormous suffering you told me about. Your hope for recovery and your faith in medical science were not exceptional.
But on all this you were wrong. You were exceptional and it was wonderful spending time with you. And we will miss you immensely.
with Love, your friend Ketar
